I'm not sure if most of you are younger than I suppose and haven't yet left the nest. Have you guys gone off to college, explored New York City, or moved to that "bigger city" in your state where everyone moves to when they get old enough to "get away from it all"? For example, Salt Lake is that city for me. Salt Lake is where I "got out" to.
I grew up in this small town in southern Utah. We have all the usual details a small town has. There are the three dueling high schools, all set on a grid of the city, like the constellation orion. I experienced and observed all the "clicks" just like all of you. I actually was a cheerleader. (Something I am not proud of, but can't seem to stop telling people. Go figure).
I went to Salt Lake City when I graduated to join a metal band with my rebellious boy friend at the time. After that I tried to move to Santa Barbera, CA. Now, that is a beautiful place! But that adventure lasted for about 2 days, and then I drove home, scared silly of my newfound independence. (I'm spontaneous as Hell, and that isn't always a good thing.) I've lived in Austin (where my heart will always be), Florida (where the HUMIDITY will always be), and Las Vegas... and we all know what will always be there...SIN dun, dun, dun. Ha ha. Sin and really great midnight buffets!
Fast forward to now. I'm home. Living with my family. 25 years old. It's incredible but strange at the same time. (I'm sure some of you are experiencing this right now. By all means give me your thoughts and insights) It's like we all ran out into the world with a stuffed suitcase, pink pajama pants and panty hose, sloppily hanging out the sides, in our haste to TAKE ON THE WORLD in 90 days or less!!! And then, we return home, mopey in our step, eyelids heavy and looking in any and all directions at once so we don't have to look any one person directly in the eye balls.
To those of you who haven't graduated yet. Don't be worried. This...might not happen to you;)
Once I got home and unpacked and my mother prepared the same korean dishes she used to feed me as a kid, I realized "I'm still trying to figure myself out". I think I'm getting close. I think I've figured out that I'm a creative person, and school doesn't do me a lot of good. (I've registered for online classes three consecutive semesters in a row, and have not yet completed a single class). Please note, I am not one of those confused, "trying to figure myself out" in a depressing sort of way people. I hope you aren't either. If you are, snap out of it "Food tastes too good, and music is too fun to play to be depressed!" I'm just saying, I'm learning now "what I want to be when I grow up", I'm more clearly defining what I fancy in a man, what I look for and want to be in a friend, you know, things of that nature.
I've been home for about two weeks. I've had the opportunity to go grocery shopping and step outside to see a show or too. Remember, I live in a very small town. Not surprisingly, I run into a lot of the chaps I knew from high school. They are all over the place and all grown up. Many of my friends are married with responsible husbands and adorable kids, some are home for the holidays and going back to law school, some have started up their own businesses, and some aren't doing a damn thing! Which is fine, I'm just observing.
I guess what I'm getting at is I'm now experiencing the sensation of the wonderment of "getting older" and watching people "get older" around me. I've lived enough life, for the first time, to witness and observe some incredible changes. And I'm growing so wise, oh so wise. Totally kidding!
No, but really, even with my band, we aren't just "starting out" anymore. We are four records in, as well as having done several EP's, and we've been touring for six years! People come up to me during shows and say "You guys got me through my high school years" And I'm thinking to myself, "That's crazy! We've been around for that long!"
I love it though. I remember just a few days ago, I watched this movie and one of the characters says to another character who was, I believe, feeling down on herself because she was getting older and he said "No way would you want to go back to being 16! Do you remember who you were at 16? You're beautiful now" or something along those lines. Now, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being sixteen. (Just make sure you don't let your 17 year old boyfriend take off in your dad's car and drive it 110 mph down the free way with your dad chasing him, and you should be fine)
I'm in a good place. All of us in this "time of our lives" are in a good place. I'm happy to be doing what I'm doing. Creating jewelry and music and connecting to you!
Might I add to this very personal blog, sheesh! Honestly, I am new to "blogging" and "twitter" and "facebook". I still haven't figured out "twitter" or "facebook", so I ask you all to bare with me. I do have a lot to say and I enjoy interacting on the web very much, with you all. Please give me feedback on anything. Even if you think there is something I could improve on (like spelling. ha ha. It's happened before) or if you have ideas for the next jewelry piece, or even if there is something I can help YOU with. I started this whole deal because I love being creative and connecting with people and hopefully having something to offer. I hope that comes through.