Friday, May 11, 2012

Sex, Drugs, and Chick-Lit?


"Rob, give Meg a cigarette." "Yes, Rob, Give Meg a cigarette" I repeat like a robot. Of course, I don't smoke, but I do join the bands' "smoking circle". They stand outside the venues or gas stations we stop at along the road, sharing smokes and conversation. I want to bond with the boys! I want to feel included. Give me a cigarette, and I'll just hold it in my hand un-lit, soak in the afternoon sun, and talk about how tour is going.

 Did you ever see that episode of "Friends" where Rachael starts smoking at her new job so she can be more involved in the day-to-day? Same situation. My headaches before I sleep became much worse due to all the second hand smoke. Because I ran out of tylenol, I was forced to return to the old routine of standing about fourteen paces away from the smokers' circle while straining to hear the conversation, and then shouting my input toward their grey curly cues decorating the air.



After five hours in the van of my being the sole participator of games to play within the confines of a van bench (which I ingeniously invented myself): "corpse", "sleeping beauty", and "road kill", I decided I needed to find an alternate way to pass the time.  My solution: a chic-lit novel. I'm embarrassed to share the title with you…all right. It's called "A Summer Affair". Please don't laugh at me. The second-hand book store didn't have the first title I had my heart set on, "The 72nd Edition of Quantum Physics and Space Engineering", so I had to go with my second choice.


There is a  character in this juicy novel called Max West, who is supposed to be on par, celebrity status-wise, with say, a Justin Beiber character of today, except in his late thirties. She describes his crazy lifestyle of traveling all over the world in a jet plane, being booked every single day of the year several months in advance. He charges over six figures for each performance. He is in and out of rehab, drowning in drugs, women, and loneliness.

Well, where are my drugs and women and loneliness? I'm in a band. Did I miss the board meeting, therefore missing the chance to allocate said number of racey women and booze in our band's general direction?

We ended up with a band full of eco-friendly vegetarians who iron our suitcases full jeans and dresses each night. We leave every parking lot cleaner than we find it, and we leave little notes at houses that accommodate our crew, "Dear ______, thank you SO much for allowing us into your home for the night. The vegetarian chile you made us was simply exquisite, and we hope to someday rescue a tour dog just like your little Rufus! Sincerely, The Band!" And there are never women crawling all over the band backstage. There are just two: Dia and myself. In fact, we are all dedicated to our significant others in our treasured monogamous relationships.

You know, I'm kind of glad that there is an "in-between" world for a musician I can live and work in. Five star hotels every night and a baby puppy in every green room would be nice, don't get me wrong, but I like my life-style to be a little more low-key. That's just me! I'm living the dream, but in a very REAL way. I don't have to trade in my health and happiness for sex, and drugs, and loneliness. No thank you. I can perform for seven-thousand people, opening up for a band who receives regular radio air-play, and still come home and visit my family for Thanksgiving dinner and help my little sister with her math homework.

Honestly,
Meg

P.S. How do you even spell chick-lit?







24 comments:

  1. If you mean "chick-lit" as the genre, then it's "chick lit" -- at least according to Wikipedia. Good to hear you had a great time on tour. Will you now get that well deserved break?

    -Johannes

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    1. Yes I will! This next week is going to be VERY long:)

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  2. This is why I am a huge fan of you all, you have morals! You are all good people. No one is perfect, but at least you all want to live a pure, good life. That is how I try to live mine as well. You deserve all that has been given to you and whatever else there is to come! Keep on being yourselves. :)

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  3. Aw too bad they didn't have "The 72nd Edition of Quantum Physics and Space Engineering", it sounds like a fun, light read :)
    Next time I'm stuck waiting for people alone in a car, I'm going to play "corpse". I bet we could make "games to play in the convines of a van bench" into a competitive sport haha
    I really enjoyed this post :) it's good to know that you can be in a band without living the crazy rockstar lifestyle

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    1. Ha ha. I have tried to see what yoga poses work on a van bench... (Not very many.)

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  4. I saw some korean guys in a smoke circle the other day after one of my finals and thought it must be cool to be in a smoke circle. of course the only way i would do it is with an unlit cig too haha.

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    1. Yeah, I tried a few times, and now I'm over it. Blah! Icky!

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  5. Off the wall question (maybe better for Facebook or not asked): I don't know if this is a mean joke, but I laughed (although maybe that's just my bad taste in jokes, including laughing at my own). I had "Here, here and here" on and "Hug me" was playing. The line came up "I was programmed to be catholic but I ran, I changed my race, I changed my name" and I thought (joking), so that's when they decided to go after "the Asian market" (well, regional rather than race, but even I wouldn't have laughed at my dumb joke if I said regional).

    So the dumb question, to follow up the dumb joke, that was brought to mind and pointlessly asked out of curiosity: what is the regional/national background on your father's side, as it seems like you mentioned on your mother's side it was Korean but I didn't recall mention on the father's side so was just curious? Josh

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    1. He's just a regular white dude:) Born and raised in Utah.

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    2. One last dumb joke. Under the megdia Facebook page there is a "dual frame" (not sure on exact proper wording) photo that has a picture of Dia on the left and an-other actress on the right with the caption "Same." No, definately not the same as it appears the person on the right is playing a saint (probably not St Vincent though) and well Dia ..., although come to think of it they may be more similar than I though if she's only "playing" a saint, ha.

      More seriously, maybe saint isn't the right word (but who would want to be like that anyway; or for all I know maybe it is but I hope not just because from my perspective I at least wouldn't want that for myself) but, if I had to say yay or nay from the little my mind comprehends, from what I can tell you both actually do seem to be very impressive individuals, sans marketing and all. Second, congratulations to you ALL on having significant others worth being dedicated to. And kudos on the photos you post, they always look very professional.

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  6. I wish more of the musicians I like were more real and down to earth. I feel hopeful for humanity when a band I love (you guys obviously) is made up of actual people who are like me and the people i surround myself with - appreciative, vegetarian chili loving, monogamous relationship having real people. the in between sounds like a great place to be.

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    1. You know, we've toured with a lot of bands that ARE really cool, but there are always those exceptions. After your comment, I think a good song title would be "In Between" and be about "that place." Thanks!

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  7. It is very refreshing to know that stereotype of bands and musicians doesn't apply to everyone. That's what makes you guys so endearing and in the end more relatable to fans.
    I had a laugh at the photo. The same book is on my wife's nightstand right next to the complete Jane Austin. Can't deny it, seems like you are more relatable than even I expected, once again.
    Stay away from the second hand smoke and Rock on Garth!

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    1. Your wife is reading it too?! What does she think about it? I just randomly picked it up, and had no idea what it was. It passes the time:)

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    2. She has not finished it yet. She sort of got halfway and put it down. A friend gave it to her. She is more of a classics fan.

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  8. It's really good to know that people can be in a band without the crazy rockstar life-style. I'm learning Guitar and me and my friends are thinking about forming a band when we grow up(I'm only 13) I don't like all the crazy stuff. it's just not...me.

    Your blog-posts are really nice to read. They always make me smile (:
    ~Alice.

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  9. Wait..Chandler the Robot.. I'm confused.. I thought this was the Meg&Dia page? Either way, I recently just started following you and I like your posts. =]

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  10. Get a gas mask so you don't get headaches :P

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  12. That's why I love you Meg, you could do all rich stuff and be absolutely unpleasant like most of the musicians, but no, you still so you, so simple and adorable. Please never change.

    Oh! And I love that FRIENDS episode ^^

    ~Thamy

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  13. It is a pleasure reading all your posts. Dia's posts too.

    All the best to you guys! Been your fans since Meg&Dia era.

    Cheers!!

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  14. As a former musician... I commend you and your bandmates for how you conduct yourselves and your amazing work ethic. To be applauded!!!!!!!!!

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